The 30 Best Witty and Humorous New Year Greetings

What better way to welcome the New Year than to send humor-filled text messages, well wishes that makes family and friends smile. Let us browse through some of them! If you are enjoyed, share it to make laught others, too! :)


Source: / Kohji Asakawa; modified: Richárd Seres-Nagy; License: Pixabay License (Free for commercial use; No attribution required); License link:; Link:

Today at the gym I asked a girl what her new year's resolution is, She said "F*** you" so I'm pretty excited for next year!

Successfully wasted 365 days of last year and here is another sets to go.

Go ahead make a resolution. It's not as complicated as pregnancy.

If nothing changes this New Year to your liking, just change your habit of complaining!

My wish is that this year you fulfill your New Year's resolution especially the ones you made at the beginning of last year. Happy New Year!

I usually make resolutions when I am drunk, that way I never have to commit it.

Every year I make a resolution to Be Myself, but circumstances change me.

Life always gives you a second chance, its called Happy New Year.

Recollect when we were young and needed to stay up for New Year's? Presently we are old and all we need to do is sleep.

A New Year is the chance to start over with a clean slate. Really awful my credit card won't start over with a clear slate.

The most fun part about making New Year's resolutions is breaking New Year's resolutions. Can't wait to mess up with you.

I'm so excited for the New Year. Unfortunately, I don't have any resolutions to make since I'm already perfect.

May you become smart enough to realize that resolutions don't come true and wise enough to know that the difference between a new year and old year is 1-minute past 12 AM.

I hope growing up is not included in your resolution this year. Let's just live it like the old one and we can grow up in some other years. Happy New Year!

No resolution for the New Year, as I like my love in the state it is- criticizing and annoying you will go on the high range! HNY!

My nose is red, my eyes are blurry; My head is pounding, my tongue is furry. It's gonna be a great year; don't you worry. Happy New Year!

Wishing you 12 Months of success, 52 weeks of laughter, 365 days of fun, 8760 hours of joy, 525600 minutes of good luck and 31536000 seconds of happiness.

Flip a coin… If the head comes, I am yours, if the tail comes then you are mine. Happy New Year!

New Year Eve is finally here, where we can be drunk in public and no one minds. Now Come on Fast! Lets Celebrate New Year Eve.

Thanks for being my partner in crime all through the year. Happy New Year!

Before the sun sets in this day, before the memories fade in this year, before the networks get jammed… Happy New Year!

This New Year, be at peace with your appearance, you are perfectly in shape – round is a shape in geometry!

I'm gonna order a pizza five minutes before the new year and when they arrive I will say I ordered this a year ago, lol.

Before I get drunk, dance on the bar, lose my phone, get naked and get arrested, let me wish you Happy New Year!

Listen, I don't want to end this year with bad terms with anyone. So, apologize to me till you have your chance. Happy New Year.

My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions. What is yours?

It's a new year once again and it's the same old life you're living once again. What is there to celebrate?

Happy New Year! Don't forget to make some resolutions you will never keep and put up a mew wall calendar you will never look at.

Here's a new year wish from a wise fellow asking you to donate more of your wealth so they can be spent by the right hands. Happy new year!

I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.

If you are enjoyed, share it to make laught others, too! :) Happy New Year!

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