10 Tips For Success - Communicating With Your Significant Other
Communication is the basis of every human interaction. For a successful relationship we must be able to engage in communication that fulfills both partners.
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Tip #1: Make time and space to communicate
At the beginning of relationships we naturally communicate with our eyes, smiles, hands and lips and talk a lot to get to know each other. Later in the relationship we need to remember that communication happens when there is enough time and space. Make a commitment with your partner and give it the time and space needed.
Tip #2: Listen, listen and listen
Rarely do we listen; we often wait for our turn to speak, during which time we think about what we want to say next. Even though it's true that human nature is 'all about me', for a relationship to feel satisfying we want to be listened to and therefore want to be a good listener for our partner.
Tip #3: Reflect back
Being a good listener can be shown by reflecting back to your partner what you have heard. This allows you to check if you really understand what they are saying and it gives them a sign that you heard them.
Tip #4: Show interest and remember
Start to build an internal map of your partner's life. If you know the people they are working with, the places they frequent for lunch or the difficulties they are currently facing, you show that you truly care.
Tip #5: Ask questions
As you will remember the details of your partner's life you are well equipped to ask them question about what has been going on for them, even before they start talking about it. Asking open ended questions, which are questions that need a longer answer than either 'yes' or 'no', are good communication starters.
Tip #6: Question your assumptions
Additionally to asking clarifying and open ended question you also want to remember to question any assumptions. Inquire about the meaning behind your partner's words and you will surprised to learn more and more about your partner that you never before knew.
Tip #7: Stay present with an open heart
Sometimes all that is needed is your presence: physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Even more than through active listening, we can show deep nurturing by simply opening our heart to the needs of the partner.
Tip #8: Give advice when asked for
Showering your partner with advice may seem like the best way to you to support your partner. If they however simply need to empty out, unsolicited advice giving can be a sign of wanting to get over the problem prematurely.
Tip #9: Ask for what you need
Your partner does not possess a certificate in mind-reading, nor do you. If you remember saying: 'You should know what I need' - think again: Is it more important to say those words or have your partner give you what you need? You can ask for what it is you need, it's free.
Tip #10: Be patient
Patience is one of the lessons on most people's journey through life. Especially in relationship communication with your significant other you will be practicing this skill over and over. One addition here is: be patient with yourself. Even with those 10 tips!
Want to know more? Have a look at her blog. Nathalie Himmelrich is the founder of 'Reach for the Sky Therapy' on Sydney's Northern Beaches and specialises in 'relationship related issues'. She is working with individuals and couples using techniques ranging from Counselling, Neuro Linguistic Programming to Journey Therapy. She supports clients in their personal growth in a supportive and professional environment. Visit her blog: Reachforthesky.wordpress.com and sign up for her newsletter today.
November 27, 2021